Here are this week's most bizarre police calls, reports and charges. All information was provided by police reports from departments in Patch communities. Where arrests or charges are mentioned, it does not indicate a conviction.

Police car tarred — What are the chances that one with three warrants would spray a police vehicle with tar? Pretty good, it turns out.

Lakewood Police turned Frankie Eden over to Cleveland officers earlier this month after he accidentally sprayed pressurized tar on himself, another man and the police car on Madison Avenue.

Eden, a 21-year-old Cleveland man, had been working for a pavement company when an officer asked workers to move a dump truck that was blocking the westbound lane of traffic on Madison, near W. 117th Street. Eden disconnected a hose before the truck was moved, and that's when the tar came out.

Eden had arrest warrants out for aggravated menacing, telephone harassment and failure to appear in court for a traffic violation.

Where am I? — Northeast Ohio can be confusing, especially at 1 a.m. when you're drunk.

A Solon officer pulled over on Cochran Road on Aug. 8 after a man flagged him down. The 25-year-old Shaker Heights man said he didn't know where he was and was without a cell phone. When the officer asked him where he was going, the man said Solon … then Warrensville Heights, and then Shaker.

He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

God's water? — A 70-year-old Stow resident told police that she saw a man pumping water from a lake on her property.

He said that his company was installing fiber optic cable in the neighborhood. He added that "God put the water here for everyone."

He refused to give the woman a business card and fled the scene before police arrived.

Drunk and asleep, again — The latest drunken nap took place a week ago in Cuyahoga Falls.

Police found an intoxicated man passed out on a lot next to a Sunoco. Officers had to pull him up from the pavement to wake him up, according to a police report.