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Life in the Fast Lane... or the Slow Lane... er, uh... Is This a Lane?

"There's only two lanes here, buddy!"

It's about to get hyper-local in here. Are you ready?

I Almost Died Three Times Today.

No, not really. I needed a melodramatic eye-catching headline to capture your attention.  Yes, YOUR attention.  YOU, the person in the black Suburban driving westbound on CV Blvd.  You just turned left with me from Redwood Road onto CVB.  Things were going so well.  We navigated our vehicles beautifully through the turn.  Sure, I was probably playing my music too loud, but I was really into that song (One - Metallica, skip to around 4:20 and you'll feel it, too.) 

I was in turn lane #1, and you were in #2.  Waiting at the traffic light, I glanced over and noticed that you left your window rolled down.  Maybe you enjoyed the low rumble of Thunder Headers attached to my '02 Harley Road Glide. Or perhaps you are also a fan of Metallica. Or both.  Either way, we exchanged a knowing "What's Up" nod. If you ride a bike, you know the nod. 

As we passed by Safeway I was around two car lengths in front of you, so I safely switched lanes to be in front of your SUV.  I needed to eventually turn right on Santa Maria, so this seemed like a perfect time to get in the right lane.  We shared the same lane in automotive harmony until we approached the nail place near Bank of the West.  What's this?  A new lane? "SWEET" you must have said to yourself.  I could feel the tension mounting as your driver-side mirror wiffed to the right of me. 

Stopped at the stoplight at Wilbeam one would think that there are three eastbound lanes, judging by the number of cars lined up in front of me.  One would be wrong, and this becomes painfully obvious when the light turns green, and the two righthand lanes begin to jockey for position. 

It gets ugly here, folks, horns-a-honking, birds-a-flying, nerves-a-frying. 

You may have your fictitious lane this time, SUV, but next time?  I will passive-agressively straddle both of these supposed lanes.   You'll have to knock me down to pass me on the right. 

There, I said it. 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Steve Ontiveros August 10, 2011 at 12:04 AM
You don't drive a black Suburban, do you? :)
HASH BROWN August 10, 2011 at 12:12 AM
@ STEVE...Do I drive a black suburban??? I used to, but sold it after I ran some guy on Harley into SHARI'S.........lol........
Steve Ontiveros August 10, 2011 at 12:12 AM
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
Lauren Edwards August 10, 2011 at 12:18 AM
OK, Hash Brown, if you deleted, then I will delete, too. For those of you who are wondering, we needed to change eastbound to westbound. An alert reader caught it and alerted us. Then he deleted his alert, so I deleted my reply to it.
David Ross August 18, 2011 at 02:24 PM
The vehicle code states that you need to be on the far right if you are making a right turn in a situation like this where there isn't a dedicated right turn lane. This will make 3 "lanes" - the two normal lanes going straight ahead and a right turn lane that isn't marked.

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